In her book “Vieille fille” she describes her choice to renounce the life of a couple
WOMEN – ” Anyway, I’ll end up alone with my cats. Everyone has already heard this sentence after the break, that is, on this Friday, November 11, International Singles Day. The myth of a woman who never found love and who ends up crazy, to live with her conversationsis a redundant joke that turns into anxiety that hangs over women, who in their late thirties are single and without children. That’s this idea sexist which Marie Kock denounces in her book old girl published at the beginning of September in La Découverte.
« An old girl, if we want to remain very strict in the definition, is a woman who has always remained a virgin, who did not marry and who did not have children.explains Marie Kock at HuffPost. Today, I consider the old girl to be a woman that she is not unmarriedwho does not share her apartment with a companion and who is not a mother. The journalist describes herself as such and says: in the video above, the journey that led her to this choice.
In her early forties, the newly married Marseilles felt trapped. They gather around her and become her friends parentswhile still living alone in her little one Paris studio. « I felt like nothing was happening to me, I asked myself a lot of questions “, she confides. Tired of waiting and searching for true love, she decides ” withdraw from the market for a few weeks. Then, with the many benefits it brings, the break is extended. ” I thought I went to be an old girl, and that wasn’t so bad she smiles.
Couple and love: two different things
Among the advantages, first, what they envy us and what is very real is almost complete freedom. We get used to doing what we want and when we want “, the journalist points out. But there is another positive side that is too little talked about,” It is psychological burden have to bring joy to couple and families. On days when I’m not well, it’s a real relief to go home and not have to give change ».
Moreover, if we regularly talk about the loneliness of single people, Marie believes that we are not talking about the loneliness that we can feel when we are in a relationship. ” We imagine that couple, family and love are one and the same. Sometimes they are synonyms, but there are also cases when these words do not match. “, she says. If she still hopes that love will fall on her, she considers herself not in a match or in family that it will sharpen the most.
In her book, the author believes that not everyone will experience true love. Men think that this is another right and that they will inevitably end up living it. ” Couple can happen to anyone, but love might not she specifies. Once we tell ourselves that it’s definitely not for us, it’s a growing weight. »
The role of romantic comedies
Romantic comedies continue to promote the spinster image. In the latter, singles, alone and unhappy, struggle to find a soul mate. They chain together unsatisfying relationships, hoping to hit the jackpot: getting into a relationship.” As if suffering was part of the game and you shouldn’t let gosays Maria. We were taught that a lot as a young girl. »
Also, in the vast majority of cases, movies he Singles focuses on women and their desire to find their prince. It’s as if male celibacy is valued, or at least accepted without judgment. ” An old maid refers to a woman in her late thirties or forties, while an old man refers to a man in his sixties, analyzes the journalist. Women have an early expiration date. »
IN old girl, writes that the expectation of love is what hurts the most. ” We stay focused on that picture of happiness and are disappointed if it doesn’t happen, while around us there are a multitude of relationships to develop and intersections to navigate. “, she concludes.
See also on Le HuffPost :
Sex with friends: They did it…for better or for worse
A follower of male contraception, he repeats his journey in the comic