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Love: What Your Favorite Song Reveals About Your Attachment Style

Love: What Your Favorite Song Reveals About Your Attachment Style

Our favorite musical style says a lot about us. And it goes even further, since the favorite love song has a close connection with our attachment style. In any case, this is what a group of Canadian researchers who have taken an interest in the subject say.

What is the relationship between favorite song and attachment style?

The attachment styleyou refers to the way an individual lives his emotional ties, whether in love or friendship. And a recent study published in Personal relationships in September 2022, establishes a direct link between the words of our favorite song and our love attachment style.

According to the team of Canadian researchers, individuals would tend to listen to love songs with which they can identify. The words would be, for them, a means of validate their experienceswhether positive or negative. To come to such conclusions, they studied 502 people whom they asked to indicate 7 to 15 of their favorite songs that talk about love. The academics then studied the titles given by the participants to derive an attachment style, before evaluating the personality traits of each respondent. The conclusions revealed three styles of loving attachment : the anxious, avoiders and secure them.

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Attachment styles and their favorite songs

The people who fear being abandonedneglected or forgotten, listen to songs that echo their fears. These are usually the most neurotic profiles and the less sure of themselves. “They are those who see the presence of the other as being almost vital”, explain to us Gwénaëlle Persiaux, psychologist and author of Healing wounds of attachment published by Éditions Eyrolles. The stress caused by a potential breakup creates in these individuals a feeling of anxiety. “When we are dependent on others for our happiness, we tend to always put them before us, even if it means sacrificing ourselves,” she warns. Their favorite songs can just as easily be about destructive love stories only episodes of infidelity.

These individuals generally prioritize their careers, according to the psychologist. They avoid love commitmentbecause they have trouble managing emotion. ” For them, engage in an emotional relationship strong, it is potentially to live a dependence on the other”, she analyzes. Their favorite music generally advocates celibacy and chaining one night stands. This style of attachment is increasingly being embraced, according to the researchers: “We found evidence to suggest that Western culture’s declining orientation toward social engagement is mirrored in the rise of avoidant popular music. »

  • secure attachment

This is probably the least problematic attachment style for the person experiencing it. ” Those are appeased people in all areas of their lives, be it careers, family, romantic and friendly relationships,” explains the specialist. These individuals tend to lean towards songs in which the love feelings are shared by both parties. “In terms of communication, they dare to say what they think, find solutions and to question ourselves when necessary,” concludes Gwénaëlle Persiaux.

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