“The perfect lover is none other than us”: Emma Becker confided before arriving at the Var Book Festival
Adopted Varoise, Emma Becker is doubly in the spotlight: firstly because she will come to sign her latest novel, Bad Behavior, “My Most Personal Book” she says, Saturday and Sunday at the Var Book Festival. Then because the film is an adaptation of his previous work, Housejust hit the big screen.
As in Houseyou approach Bad behaviour desire, attitude towards men, attitude towards oneself, sex… Are you inviting all women to liberate themselves?
I wouldn’t say that. I write about my inability to sometimes get the upper hand in relationships with men and how I achieve this through writing. I don’t think I’m someone you can look up to in order to have healthy or worthwhile sexual or sentimental relationships. (laughter) I prefer to describe fiascos, to have them explained to me precisely. I really have nothing to teach. This book is a humble attempt on my part to understand who I am, how I think, etc. If men and women find themselves in what I write, feel a little more understood, I’m happy.
Is free intercourse in a couple the salvation of postpartum sexual life?
(laughter) That’s a good question. I distinguish between a free couple and a couple who have the composure to realize, without even talking about it, that they have lost themselves in parenting. So, without necessarily communicating about it, he allows himself the right to get lost a little with others, in order to find himself better later.
You also describe how violent the world is for women….
That’s right. Even in the face of this violence, I bring the poetry that the novel authorizes. It is true that such topics make one wonder why we get carried away… with boys. But these moments also allow us to learn something about ourselves, about the couple. And maybe the morning violence of this tenderness that a man can feel especially towards men.
What did you learn about yourself?
I learned a little from where I come from: that is, from generations of women who have experienced the same, sometimes worse, with no defense. I come from hordes of women who haven’t had a chance to think about their condition, who haven’t been able to escape it long enough to realize that maybe they weren’t so unhappy after all. just that. Since then I have also learned House and with this book even more, the need to continue the feminist struggle and to educate boys differently, because that’s where it all starts, I think…
Bad behaviour reconciles you with feminists (certain feminist currents sparked controversy when the book La Maison was published in 2019)?
I never got angry. And the feminists in my family never doubted my commitment to it. And nothing made me a bigger feminist than children.
There are fictional relationships in this book. Isn’t that ultimately the most beautiful relationship?
I completely agree with you! That’s why I say that the perfect lover is none other than us. Since the fantasies were written by us, we embody them. I’ve spent my whole life telling myself that without a man I’m missing something, that I’m incomplete. I think it is important to remember – when you are a woman, when you have children – that we are the best company.
What do you think of the adaptation? Housethat just hit the big screen?
I consider it a complete betrayal of what I have done. Not that the book is a masterpiece. But the profession I held and defended three years later, my project, my experience… It is a complete sabotage of what I wanted to tell. It’s not dramatic, it’s the principle of adaptation. We sold the rights and after a while I wash my hands of it if they don’t listen to me. But I won’t defend this movie like I tried to defend my book.
Do you have any other “crazy ideas” (a phrase the author uses in her books) that readers will soon benefit from?
(laughter) I have a lot of them, but I won’t give them to you. spoiler. I can say that something will come out in March-April, but I won’t talk about it now.